The Alphabet Game

In the Disney classic Pollyanna (By the way, did you know there is nudity in that movie! In the opening credits there are little boys skinny dipping and jumping into the river from a rope swing and you see little bare bums! My faith in Disney is seriously shaken.) the lead character has a thing called the glad game. When something goes wrong she tries to think of a good thing about it. It’s a sappy idealistic classic old-time movie that has absolutely nothing to do with real life.

On my birthday a year and a half ago I was doing some of that painful-introspective-analyze-my-life-and-try-to-fix-it-in-one-swift-stroke-because-it’s-my-birthday thinking, and realized that I was miserable. But I also realized that I was unhappy because I had made it a habit. Someone would ask “How are you?” and my first inner reaction was to pick something from my pathetic life to complain about. Or my standard response was “surviving.” I realized I needed to break the habit of being unhappy. I needed something easy and simple to just catch that initial negative reaction to being asked how I was.

Eventually I came up with “The Alphabet Game” Here’s how it works. I start with A and that day I have to come up with something positive that begins with A like awesome, astounding, amazing etc. When someone asks how I am - I have to respond with a positive A word. The next day is B and so on. I even mark the days in my planner so I can keep track of where I am. If I have something that upsets me or that I want to be crabby about, I write it down in my planner on the day after Zday - the 27th day - Black Hole day. That day I can be miserable and grouchy and don’t have to try to be happy for anyone if I don’t feel like it.
The idea is that by the time I get to a day when I can be miserable about something that happened earlier, I have gained enough perspective that it no longer seems quite so traumatic. I have found that on black hole day I often can sincerely answer that I am fantastic. The next day I start back with A again.

It seems like such a silly thing - yet it has truly changed my life. It has done exactly what I needed it to do - break the habit of looking at the negative side of life. No, it doesn’t always work - and I still often get discouraged and wallow in self misery. But at least I wallow faster, like a buffalo on speed. I have to get on to the next letter. The substance of my life hasn’t changed - but my attitude and how I deal with it is completely different.

It is funny to watch people’s reactions to strange letters like Q or Z and I quickly explain the alphabet game and they get excited to try it too. There are days when the first person I’ve talked to that morning asks how I am and I have to ask them to hang on a second while I figure out what letter I am on. I even bought a little set of pre-school flashcards with the alphabet on them and have them on a bulletin board in my bedroom.
Sometimes I catch myself feeling negative and being bummed out and I realize I haven’t been playing the game as strictly as I should.

Things are far from perfect but they are so much better than they were. I have even had the shocking experience of people saying things to me like “You are always so cheerful” - Who me?! Seriously? The queen of woe-is-me, cheerful?
I could (and probably will) write numerous blogs on specific instances where the alphabet game has taken on a life of it’s own.
I said it changed my life, but the truth is, it has saved my life.